Written by Gordon Aspey
2 March 2017
There have been many occasions during my lifetime when I have told someone to ‘get knotted.’ I wrongly thought it had some mild reference to knotted string. Of course there are different levels of emphasis from the casual jocular comment to the angry growl through gritted teeth.
I stood behind a lady in the Post Office being reprimanded for using string to tie her parcel. ‘String is unacceptable now, you must use sticky tape,’ said the cashier.
The old lady leant heavily on her walking stick and looked ready for argument. ‘Well I don’t like sticky tape’ she muttered, ’bloody awful stuff-I always use string.’ If words could be applied to her puckered brow she was saying ‘You can get knotted’.
Imagine my concern when looking up this Idiom in the Dictionary to discover it has several different meanings. Although primarily derived from maritime use when the ‘Cat-o-nine Tails’ was used to flog errant sailors. Different interpretations have stumbled into the 21st century with more questionable meanings. One describes it as a dog unable to remove it’s whatnot during a mating session because he has inadvertently tied a knot in his penis. ‘Is this for real? How do they do that?
Sex has always had a Velcro like quality attaching connotations to almost anything, even string.
The Australian version of ‘Get knotted’ is more explicit, it means ‘Go and have sex’. Now, I would like to put on record it has never been my intention to encourage anyone to go down this road. The idea that a casual comment from me could bring about an increase in the world population is unthinkable.
There are plenty of communities producing babies on an industrial scale without any input from me. When you consider the rapid expansion of social interchange this could develop into a bit of a problem. According to my frequent visits to the internet there are millions of people telling each other to get knotted, it’s a pretty angry place.
If they all adopt the Australian model there could be a sizable increase in the world population already approaching 8 billion.
There are suggestions from more knowledgeable quarters that 10 billion is saturation point.
Despite the overwhelming evidence that the planet is grossly over populated and unsustainable the problem remains firmly on the back burner. Our leaders are frightened to raise the subject for fear of ruffling feathers in vociferous places.
The answer, according to the Ostriches running the shop; we need more runways, trains, houses, doctors, medical staff, refugees and immigrants and of course, more money. And the Holy Grail more POWER for them.
They don’t understand less is more feasible and more desirable.
We need more controls on our borders, well overdue anyway. The so called Nimby’s are right to string things out for as long as they can. They recognise the demands for a little bit of green belt here and there for what it is, foot in the door politics. OK- so you don’t agree! Well-you know what you can do!
o.